We certainly live in a society that recognizes itself as egalitarian (whether gender, race or otherwise). There are nuances and some minor exceptions, but I’ll skip that for now. My thoughts for today are about men and women, about our behavior, about what we do, and why do we do what we do.
Today a woman can be independent just as men; it’s not like four centuries ago when you had to be a man to get into a job. You had to be tough to survive – jobs were mainly tough jobs where men were favored. Women can be prime-minister as well as CEO and they can go very high in their career. Although women criticise a bit more and statistically they have apparently a natural ability for talking, they are, in career, just what men are. Anyway, a friend of mine told me that what we women discuss it’s awful. We are the first one who criticise other successful women. Everything which not average or comparable with us it’s dissected in endless discussions.
My premise in this discussion is that men and women naturally depend on each other. The main point is that ‘everybody needs somebody to love’. Anatomically women and men are to be together. A great monk who led a research into men and women interdependency said that men have a gland that women don’t: prostate. The main function of the prostate is to store and secrete a clear, slightly alkaline (pH 7.29) fluid that constitutes 10-30% of the volume of the seminal fluid that, along with spermatozoa, constitutes semen. Prostate play a crucial role in the conception though. According to him, women do not have ANY gland that make men dependent on women, however, men need women as they are. Men’s polygamy is something that no man can deny and can become a virtue when is fostered, but this leads into another discussion.
Although men and women have often contradictory ideas, they normally behave according to what the opposite gender wants. Generally women want men who are able to carry on the responsibilities of their marriage or other relationship, who are sensitive to their desires, and do not complain, but always keep going. That means women like security and stability. Just what men want to give. It is very hard to find someone’s with all these qualities and this may be a starting point and profiling the ‘ideal man’. What men often want is a feminine woman, who is a natural woman in her everyday life. Although women can be independent and powerful, I noticed men often are scared of such women. A man likes to protect a woman or a family, but nowadays this is no longer needed. Or, in some cases, it is needed, but that has other connotations.
The wind of change
But we metamorphose and people are commonly reluctant to change. It is very hard to still enjoy someone’s company after ten years just as you did ages ago. A weakness can become a virtue if you are aware of it. And long lasting relationship it’s all about compromises and nothing else. There is no magical prescription, it’s all about concessions and a well-balanced manner. Actually the hardest thing to keep is the inner balance.
(She: I enjoy your company. He: I am so glad to hear that. She: It’s still making money?)
You are forced by society and own life guidelines to grow up your kids and look after your family. You need then to step up in your thinking and involve your partner in common projects, just as in business. You need to make sure ‘that company still makes money’ is still productive affectively and pragmaticaly.
My conclusion is that interpersonal life is essential in everyone’s life. People need love. It is the main and the most valuable sense of our life.